My views on Anarchy

Order / Organization that is for the Greatest Good of All is better than selfish greed in any form. The answer to ineffective leadership is not “no leadership”. It is effective, transformational, high integrity, ethical, inspired leadership. That will not happen until the people change and vote for someone or listen to someone who is healthy.

Anarchy in America (US) would be a selfish, power grab by All (Rather than the selfish power grab by just the select few). Most people in America are unhealthy mentally AND physically. Just about everyone is using some kind of drug. Until people get drug free and address core issues, it will be unsafe for ANY of them to have power that can affect others’ lives. So i certainly don’t trust those people to do behaviors that are the highest good of all when they can’t even do the highest good for themselves. Self leadership doesnt work in a society until people are healthy. Otherwise everyone is just violating everyone else.

Proper leadership is through inspired action and wisdom and leading by example. There are people who do this, but Ameicans don’t choose them as leaders.

I studied transformational leadership in 1985 (and one of the books we used was written in 1967). We have yet to see it in this country (USA). “We, the people”, do not choose to have order that is based in integrity, doing the right thing, heart led, emotional health…Until we, as humanity, choose that love and integrity are more important than money and that healthy emotional behavior is more important than suppression, we, the people, will continue to chose people who lead us astray.

Over and over in this country (US) i see people doing behaviors of “This doesn’t work, let’s do the opposite” A psychologist-friend of mine would always say “180% away from insanity is still insanity”.

We need teachers who teach people what truly healthy behavior is, then self governance might work.

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Some unaddressed factors that can contribute to bomb threats:

Some unaddressed factors that can contribute to bomb threats:
Isolation, rejection, emotional issues relating to not being understood or accepted for one’s biochemical or emotional individuality
Living in a society that is extremely addictive (books: When Society becomes an addict, Anatomy of an Epidemic…), where one is expected to be happy all of the time or not supported for their negative feelings, overwhelm, anger or pain…
A society that is extremely lack oriented where no one has anything extra to share with another (i.e. emotional energy)
Emotional unintelligence – using drugs to deal with issues – alcohol, marijuana, caffeine are all drugs…(Southern Oregon is one of the most addictive places in the country)
A culture’s lack of customer service skills
A culture where people are VERY selfish
A culture where people put money or physical things before others emotional and / or spiritual needs
Workaholic cultures that do not respect the emotional / and or physical health of people
Racism, discrimination, scapegoating, negative profiling, bullying…
Us and them thinking and projection onto another who is different that they are a “them” or “the bad guy”
A narcissistic culture where people do not own their emotional issues and they project them on to other targets – “you are the problem”
Having leaders who appear diplomatic and happy all of the time, but uses drugs or cigarettes to deal with his emotions behind the scenes
Economic injustice
The war between the rich and the poor thinking
Selfish people hurting others to get ahead
Beliefs that it is ok to harm others to get ahead
A culture that lacks ethics, integrity or social responsibility.
A culture or belief system that it is “ok to do harm” as long as you do not get caught
rather than having any sense of morality to do the right thing, regardless of who is looking.
A cultural belief system that if harm has come to you, it is because you deserved it.
Lack of ethics for a few to succeed, where honest people are disadvantaged
Poverty
Unemployment and the emotional overwhelm and crisis that come with that. (among young people coming out of college – 1 in 2 if not more are unemployed oftentimes carrying up to $80,000 in debt)
A culture where there are no calming, pharmaceutical grade nutritional support for those in crisis.
Homelessness or the fear of it
Insecure or unstable home situations
Unreasonable expectations of young people, their capacity to produce or to be emotionally stable
Unreasonable or impossible to meet standards being put on children in the education system
Go, Go, Go standards of society ignoring or disrespecting emotional or physical health and well being
Insecure housing situations
Narcistic parents who take drugs and judge their children for being “oversensitive” or “overreactive”
Parents who drink, smoke, use stimulants… and who judge their children for taking or being on other drugs. (Children learn from example / modeling)
Parents who are numb, shut down, emotionally blocked, addictive, who are adult survivors of physical, mental, emotional abuse or neglect, and who project their issues on to children
Parents who are “flat” in their emotions because they have low level depression and don’t know to go to a doctor to address their hormonal issues and judge their children for being emotional
Judgement of young people’s range of emotion and unreasonable beliefs about them “being” or “staying” even-keeled rather than loving them unconditionally for having the full spectrum of human emotion
Unhealed abuse issues
Hormonal imbalance
Adrenal exhaustion
Environmental Toxic Overload
Doctors who do not understand why the body of the child (any person) is anxious, overwhelmed, or depressed and medicating instead of healing them (Naturopathic doctors are on the right track)
Insomnia
The lack of wisdom about and availability of suitable pharmaceutical grade nutritional support for insomnia, depression and anxiety.
Medication that have suicidal or homicidal side effects
A culture where support for insomnia, depression and anxiety is only psychological and no one deals with the biochemistry, or where the biochemical support has extreme side effects that are way worse than the issue for which it is being prescribed (Ie “in some instances, this support can cause death…”)
Using a stimulant to treat anxiety (CALMANTS should be used)
Malnourishment
Generation differences between parent and children where the parents have NO understanding of the level of pressure that is on children (and young people) at this point or caring about their feelings and how overwhelmed they are
Transgenerational Epigenetic Influence – the passing on of ill health from parent to child because the parent did not address the health issues BEFORE the birth of the child. (Usually parents who drink or use caffeine are already in stage one or stage two illness. The child is then born with these same health issues)
The belief system that men are supposed to be calm all of the time (a pressure cooker ready to blow) and they do not get the emotional support that they need.

Who indicted oatmeal?

With all of this momentum to support the paleo diet, I would like to remind everyone the “180 degrees away from insanity, is still insanity”. We need to eat balanced diets. Yes for O blood type and those who cannot pull off the vegetarian diets, protein is not only important, it is a priority. But we must not throw the baby out with the bath water. Protein is a building block for almost everything going on in the body including the building of DNA.

Yes, as far as protein goes, we should not eat more than our palm size of meat at any time (as thick as a deck of cards). It is hard for the body to digest and causes the body to be acidic. (not to mention putting the body at risk for heart problems). It should be grass fed/ “finished” beef or animals and pasture raised chicken…Organic only (otherwise you are at risk for gmos and all of the toxicity that goes with that). (Finished means that the animals were fed grass all way up to their transition day. IE they were not fed grains the last month to fatten them up)

We should be eating 7-9 veggies (and about 2 fruits) a day. This should be our primary focus because this is our pharmacy of good health. We need to eat the rainbow of colors every day to protect us from environmental toxicity. Veggies support us in being alkaline, which protects us from disease. They also give us good fiber to keep us regular.

We also need healthy fats, like omega 3s and some (but less) omega 6, like coconut oil. Nurses say we should have a 2:1 ratio of omega 3s to 6s. Two omega 3s for every 6. These can come from avocados, nuts (although some nuts are higher in 6s), and high quality extra virgin olive oil (virgin can be used for cooking at low temperatures). Walnuts are a good choice for nuts (and are good for the brain) and brazil nuts are considered the queen of nuts – although for many it is an acquired taste.

Now… Let’s talk about oatmeal. There is no evidence to support or validate that oatmeal is not good for the body…Quite the contrary, there are volumes of studies that demonstrate that oatmeal is good for our body. The American diet is way to focussed on grains, so I would say, “yes, we need to cut back on grains”.

Leading edge doctors who have studied nutrition recommend that we do not eat more than a cup, or half a cup a day of grains per day. They recommend that we avoid wheat because it is so hybridized that most peoples’ bodies do not even recognize it, and there is also a concern that GMO/GE wheat can taint the organic wheat. Some gluten grains are bad for people with sensitivity to them, however I feel that a bigger issue is that some people already have so much inflammation in their gut that gluten just exaserbates the problem. (There can be other issues also, like mercury / or other heavy metal toxicity in the gut, which can also contribute to this gut inflammation…)

Each individual has certain tolerances and sensitivities to certain foods, including grains. For one a pecan might be a godsend, of another it might be a poison. The same is true for grains. I am O blood type (“the natural meat eater”) and I am highly allergic to wheat and spelt, but my body loves oatmeal and buckwheat (among others).

So my recommendation is, if your body reacts to a specific grain, don’t eat it. An allergic reaction can follow all the way up to 10 days after you eat a food. It can include mood swings and emotions, anger (from the liver detoxing) or the myriad of physical issues including acnes or rashes. Some doctors recommend that you eliminate a food for 6 months, then bring it back and eat a lot of it for a period of time and see if your body reacts. Another option is to get a blood test to find out food allergies and sensitivities. This can cost $300-800.

So back to oatmeal and low risk (non gmo) grains. Grains can have a mineral in them called Lithium. Lithium is well known in the medical industry as a medication used to stabilize mood swings (for bipolar). This is just one of many nutrients in oatmeal and other grains that is beneficial for the body. Brown rice and black beans are also a great nutritional combo because they equate to a full protein, high fiber and they are less taxing to the body’s digestive system than meat. 

Grains can also support the creation of serotonin (our happy drugs in our body), if they are appropriate for your body. 

There is nothing wrong with being a healthy OMNIVORE. And eating the full spectrum of food available, as long as you are getting the right amount of veggies and protein and you are not overdoing it with any particular food. The concept of eating well balanced meal, has never gone away. With registered dieticians, the “food pyramid” has been gone for a long time. Because almost the entire news media is owned by a few people, good accurate information about health rarely reaches the news and the american public. Don’t be afraid to eat oatmeal or other grains that work for your body as long as you are only eating about a half cup per meal. I will eat a beef sausage patty, which I make, collard greens (or any colorful veggies) and 1/2 cup of oatmeal for breakfast. Oftentimes I will the same thing for lunch that I make for breakfast so that I save time on food prep. Or I will eat the same thing for breakfast that I ate for dinner so that I don’t have to cook again.

And remember food allergies can be created by eating the same thing every day or limiting your food options to your favorite 25 foods. Mix it up, eat seasonal veggies, and eat the right foods in the right proportions for your body. Don’t overdo ANY foods or your will wind up with different health issues.

And, as a sidenote. Although we all love bacon, the processing of it can lead to  any end product that is less than ideal for our health (and extremely toxic that can contribute to infertility and impotence). Focus on healthy, less processed cuts of beef and pork and get your fats from healthy options. If you are craving fats eat olive oil and coconut oils.

Sex

Hmmm. Funny. Don’t completely agree. But like what she said about self respect.

http://samuel-warde.com/2013/08/this-is-the-best-example-of-what-twerking-really-is

While I don’t think that you have to ‘wait til marriage to have sex’, I do believe everything that she said about self worth. I believe the “wait til you get married to have sex” thing is the reason so many people married the wrong person and got divorced later. It is also the reason that so many people get married too young. Studies show that young people who wait til at least 26 or 28 years old, to get married are much more successful with marriage than those who get married earlier. And they are also better equipped to be more patient, stable, loving parents. (Stability is absolutely essential for a child’s overall health). They also have a better sense of who they are, and what they want and need, have had time to work through some of their issues and tend to choose better matches. They have had time to develop some sense of autonomy, and some time to possibly think of their individual purpose (other than child-rearing). While there can be some exceptions to these comments, I think it is important for a person to know who they are, before they commit before God/dess and everyone to be with another person for the rest of their life.

I believe that sex is a special experience and that it is a way of expressing love.  Although in many circles of singles, they tell me that there is something wrong with me that I do not just have casual sex (or date people for the sole purpose of having sex) and that I am not as ‘evolved’ because I don’t participate in “Polyamory” (another word they use for multiple sex partners), I stick with my original beliefs that “sex is something special and it is about love”. I believe that sex is something beautiful to be cherished. I have received a lot of criticism for this idea, in a world that vascilates between puritanical abstention and lustful, greedy obsession with sexuality. And when I was younger, I was rejected many times for not “putting out”.

Many singles use sex as a ‘drug of choice’ and make others wrong for not participating. Also this thing of ‘serial monogamy’ i.e. relationship addiction where you use a person ’til you are bored with them, then move on to the next person (usually before your last relationship was even over), is in my opinion a way of not dealing with your issues or doing proper grief work. It is harmful to the person doing it, because they get stuck in patterns of insecure attachment that could potentially leave them single forever, and it is harmful to their love interest who feels used when they are dumped for the next interesting person. Women can have 300 times the oxytocin (bonding chemical) as men.  When it is a man “rebounding” and dumping his partner for someone else, it can leave a woman traumatized. The chemicals in a woman’s body (who has a healthy/secure attachment /bonding mechanism) can cause her to feel overwhelmed, as well as excruciating pain. Oxytocin withdrawal (in the words of a nurse friend of mine) is literally biochemically equivalent to cocaine withdrawal. Relationships need to be gently moved from, and issues need to be worked through, for both parties to be healthy at the end. The days of randomly using people and disposing of them when you are done, in a selfish way to get needs met, without regard for others, are over.

More older women are dating younger men because men their own age are ignorant, immature or disrespectful.  So those men, who are just randomly using women until their 30s or 40s (when they are ready to settle down), are often left behind when high quality women date younger men who are can be more caring, respectful, appreciative and attractive. Also studies show that rebound relationships are rarely successful. They rarely result in two healthy people coming together to have a healthy relationship.

The societal patterns are that people are waiting longer to get married (especially if they have divorced parents), with people waiting til their 30s, or even early 40s for their first marriage. To tell them they have til wait to they are 40 to have sex is not realistic (and literally can be harmful to their health). But even if they are waiting til they find a good match, to realize their dreams, or to have their career in order before they marry, they still need to be honest, open and responsible with how they have sex and who they have sex with. I hear all the time people say “I told him /her that I didn’t want a relationship, before I had sex with him/her. I dont know why she/he is so attached”. This is not how the body works for someone who is emotionally available. People bond, oxytocin creates a bond, and people can be attached when they have sex. It is the person who just wants “to play” who is responsibility to pick the right person with whom to “play”. And to be responsible. The day of “there are no victims; it is your fault if I hurt you” are over. If you are setting up someone to get hurt, and they feel traumatized when you are done with them. You are responsible. Or shall I say, “you have been irresponsible”.

Unconditional love and responsible people do not leave a trail of bodies, or people who feel traumatized.  If you are responsible, honest, open and choose the right people, there is no reason that people will feel traumatized from their experience with you. If you want to just “play” then do not choose people who want a commitment, even if they are naive (inexperienced) and think they can handle it. If someone hasn’t been burned before, by someone just wanting ‘fun’, when they want a serious, committed relationship, and they don’t know how much pain can be involved with that, it is OUR job to protect them from that type of harm. We are responsible to make sure that what we do, does not harm another. The days of take everything you can get, not caring about our impact on others, selfish greed, the ends justify the means and if you get hurt by me, it’s your fault for not protecting yourself better are over. Innocent people don’t know they need to protect themselves from others. It is OUR job to not harm the innocent or vulnerable, not THEIR job to walk around defensive so that they do not get hurt. The job of the inner male, and men in our society is to protect others, even if it is to protect them from themselves. The days of recklessly, selfishly using people and their bodies to get ahead are over. We all know that rape is not ok. Neither is just using people for sex and disposing them. The days of using people for their ideas and energy and not giving something in return are also over.
http://samuel-warde.com/2013/08/this-is-the-best-example-of-what-twerking-really-is/

Protected: Response to Abraham-Hicks video – A message for Sensitives who are overwhelmed

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How do you make someone fall in love with you?

I saw this question recently, and felt almost baffled. My thought was that with 25 years of relationship studies, the question itself is upside down, backwards and inside out. 

The question itself is based on the wrong belief, that you can make someone do something that they do not want to do. And even if you did pull it off, it would never be sustainable or long-term. Manipulation and control in relationships usually lead to divorce, in the long run.

The question is based on a common belief and philosophy that one can manipulate another to get what they want. The truth is, you can’t make anyone do anything, that they do not want to do.

The best you can do is be yourself, honest, sincere and loving. The right person will be attracted to you. Those that are not attracted would not stay with you, if you manipulated them to be with you, when they didn’t want to. That relationship would be based on lies, manipulation, control and power games. It would not be based on sincerity, honesty, openness, truth and effective communication.

The law of attraction states that “like attracts like”. Getting people to do anything that they don’t authentically want to do, only causes pain in the long-term and doesn’t last.

A better question is “How do I attract love to me?” and an answer is:

Be kind, considerate, loving. Develop good communication, conflict resolution and emotional intelligence skills. Be open, receptive and healed of your old pains and blocks to love. Be the person that you would like to attract and let the law of attraction take over. Monitor what is attracted to you, and utilize that as a lesson of what is inside of you, that needs to be healed, before you can bring to you the type of person that you desire.

Another better question is:

“How can I be lovable?”

That is a question that each of us has to answer for ourselves. It can be a lifelong question to ponder and be resolved. The beginning phase would be “what is love?” and “How do I “BE” it?”

This is each of our work on the planet, to spend each day of our lives working on becoming a more loving person. It doesn’t happen overnight and ultimately is what draws people to us, our desire to give and receive love.

Another question is:

“How do I create sustainable relationships between myself and others?”

This too can be a life-time study. The answers are as unique, as the number of people on the planet. We all have individual issues based on where we come from and our upbringing.

Perhaps you would like to get support from a “Love Guru or Love Coach”? If so, click here:  https://thespiritofbusiness.wordpress.com/love-coaching/

Each of us carries within ourselves, one of our purposes, of being a more kind, loving person. Some people do not remember that this is part of their purpose on the planet. We are all here to bring something positive, to benefit ourselves and others.

Special note: If we have an unhealed issue, we will attract to us that which is just like us, or that which is the exact opposite. In the words of a psychologist friend of mine “180 degrees away from insanity, is still insanity”. Neither of the attractions are healthy. Someone on a completely different path is a healed person and they usually are unfamiliar and uncomfortable for us to be around…Any way you look at it, we need to do our own healing work. Love and relationships are created from the inside- out.