I saw this question recently, and felt almost baffled. My thought was that with 25 years of relationship studies, the question itself is upside down, backwards and inside out.
The question itself is based on the wrong belief, that you can make someone do something that they do not want to do. And even if you did pull it off, it would never be sustainable or long-term. Manipulation and control in relationships usually lead to divorce, in the long run.
The question is based on a common belief and philosophy that one can manipulate another to get what they want. The truth is, you can’t make anyone do anything, that they do not want to do.
The best you can do is be yourself, honest, sincere and loving. The right person will be attracted to you. Those that are not attracted would not stay with you, if you manipulated them to be with you, when they didn’t want to. That relationship would be based on lies, manipulation, control and power games. It would not be based on sincerity, honesty, openness, truth and effective communication.
The law of attraction states that “like attracts like”. Getting people to do anything that they don’t authentically want to do, only causes pain in the long-term and doesn’t last.
A better question is “How do I attract love to me?” and an answer is:
Be kind, considerate, loving. Develop good communication, conflict resolution and emotional intelligence skills. Be open, receptive and healed of your old pains and blocks to love. Be the person that you would like to attract and let the law of attraction take over. Monitor what is attracted to you, and utilize that as a lesson of what is inside of you, that needs to be healed, before you can bring to you the type of person that you desire.
Another better question is:
“How can I be lovable?”
That is a question that each of us has to answer for ourselves. It can be a lifelong question to ponder and be resolved. The beginning phase would be “what is love?” and “How do I “BE” it?”
This is each of our work on the planet, to spend each day of our lives working on becoming a more loving person. It doesn’t happen overnight and ultimately is what draws people to us, our desire to give and receive love.
Another question is:
“How do I create sustainable relationships between myself and others?”
This too can be a life-time study. The answers are as unique, as the number of people on the planet. We all have individual issues based on where we come from and our upbringing.
Perhaps you would like to get support from a “Love Guru or Love Coach”? If so, click here: https://thespiritofbusiness.wordpress.com/love-coaching/
Each of us carries within ourselves, one of our purposes, of being a more kind, loving person. Some people do not remember that this is part of their purpose on the planet. We are all here to bring something positive, to benefit ourselves and others.
Special note: If we have an unhealed issue, we will attract to us that which is just like us, or that which is the exact opposite. In the words of a psychologist friend of mine “180 degrees away from insanity, is still insanity”. Neither of the attractions are healthy. Someone on a completely different path is a healed person and they usually are unfamiliar and uncomfortable for us to be around…Any way you look at it, we need to do our own healing work. Love and relationships are created from the inside- out.
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